They slot into one another like pornographic matryoshka dolls. And look! They even gave me a bottle of lube! Better still, they come in a discreet white case for convenient portability. Simply pop them in your handbag and head on out to the opera. Or a fetish club. ANYWHERE!
OK, OK, so officially they're "dilators" rather than dildoes, and they do serve a legitimate clinical purpose. Pelvic radiotherapy can leave you with scar tissue in the lady parts, making you less...what's the word? Stretchy? Accommodating? Anyway, the point is, if left unattended your front bottom may end up being unable to withstand anything wider than a small pipette. (No, I don't know why you'd insert a small pipette in there either. It was the first image that came to mind. Leave me alone.)
So, you start with the smallest of your State-provided plastic friends and send it into your pleasure garden for a bit of hokey cokey. Repeat until you're ready to move up to the next size. And so forth. In time, you should be able to resume a normal sex life, as well as (hopefully, if treatment worked) a normal toilet-going existence.
Luckily for me, my radiotherapy plan didn't involve zapping me from the front, so I shouldn't be too badly affected in the love tunnel department. I still reckon I should give my new toys a go. Even if (warning: over-sharing ahead) I couldn't cope with much more than a small pipette in the first place.
I remember the advice given me about blisters you take a steril sewing needle (presumably you boil it) and thread a bit of cotton. Next you pass the needle and thread through the blister leaving cotton inside with enes sticking out so the liquid drains out.It works but does it help with healing?
ReplyDeleteMy sisters Father in law was given something similar to by the doctor to stretch his anus. when he told his son He replied 'well you always was a tight arse'
ReplyDeleteApologies for the length of time it's taken me to reply. I've been asleep most of the last week!
ReplyDeleteGood quip about being a tight arse! Honestly, I think I'd rather be a tight arse than shove a dilator up my jacksy.