Thursday 20 September 2012

Days 3 & 4: Where should I be looking again?

Yesterday and today, I have experienced mild euphoria and a sense of peace and clarity.  Not while asking God to reveal himself to me, but when calming my mind for an answer.  Oddly enough, the euphoria comes when I close my eyes; the feelings are very similar to what used to happen when I was a Christian.  The peace and clarity come when I open my eyes, still my thoughts and focus on the world.  That said, I can also summon feelings of joy by concentrating on, say, the beauty of a plant; I can summon feelings of awe when I consider the way human ingenuity has harnessed natural forces and turned them into my laptop.  (Seriously!)

So far, I've not found God, but I'm starting to appreciate reality and reconnect with my emotions.  Which has to be a good thing, right?

10 comments:

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  2. If it is just about "feelings of joy by concentration" etc, one should rather have that joy on the beauty of a plant itself (rather than artificial prayers to God, emptying mind in meditation etc).

    While feelings of joy by seeing a beautiful plant etc is good, that may not the highest good/joy, nor ultimate end in itself. Highest good/joy is seen in loving relationships - beginning with the most important relationship with God. Whatever you may be going through in your life (I read your previous two blog entries), if there is eventually reconciliation/restoration of true and loving relationship with God (and in fact even leading you to be a blessing/uplifting/helping etc to others who may be going through similar troubles), then that is perhaps incomparably/infitinitely higher good, that none of the sufferings of this life can even be compared to. If that is so, then the key to this prayer experiment is not just about God's existence (as an academic fun fact to know), but also desiring moral renewal, or any moral issues that you may be struggling with etc, where God can help you see His working in your life, as you pray. And that may be the miracle you need.

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    1. Hi

      Feelings are just feelings , but they are part of what it is to be human, and I tend to be very cerebral. So it's good to connect with my emotional side and to still my mind, not as an end in itself but as a way of opening myself to the fullness of life.

      You seem to be pretty hung up on 'moral issues'! Is there a reason for that? I think it's safe to say that our ideas of morality will be different, but I have dealt with problematic behaviour in my life before, without the help of a deity. Making changes was a huge relief, but not miraculous. I'm leaving it up to anything/anyone that's out there to decide how to reveal itself to me.

      All the best.

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  3. Hi,

    Feelings should also ultimately correspond to reality - or at least that should be the attempt. Only then, the emotions can be described as adding fullness to life. So an objective examination of reasons to believe in God (like http://www.reasonablefaith.org/does-god-exist-1 ) is also important, as is prayer.

    Regarding moral issues, yes, there is a reason why I am hung up on that. Let me explain with an example: The core aspect of spouse/partner/children/parents etc is the love/relationship - not mere acknowledgement of each others existence. If love/relationship is not there, mere verbal agreement of existence is of hardly any significance/value. In the same way, through out the Bible, God is revealed in relational terms. God is not interested in mere acknowledgement of existence, but in relationship. And like all relationships, there is a moral dimension (for example, one cannot be violating the rights/dignity of a person or their loved ones and claim that relationship is fine). In the same way, relationship with perfectly Holy God means a moral cleansing/forgiveness/renewal is needed (salvation), which is what is really promised through the scripture (and not really a promise of revealing existence as an academic interest). So, relationship with God, and hence morality is the really the core. Sure, some moral issues can be resolved by trying different means, but here we a re talking about relationship with absolutely perfect/Holy God. We can never pull ourselves to that level, we need God’s help to make that possible.

    Regarding the ideas of morality being different, going by the Bible, morality is based on the premise that humans are made in the image of God, hence have intrinsic value, entitled to basic human dignity, rights, freedom etc. Jesus described the greatest commandment and summation of whole law as "Love God ... Love your neighbour as yourself". This, at a high level, gives objective basis for morality.

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    1. I could get into a big discussion with you about the assertion that theistic morality is objective, but I'm not going to. Other than that, I agree with you about the importance of connecting to reality and loving. However, that is not the point of the experiment, which is simply for participants to ask God (and that god may be Hindu, Zoroastrian etc, not necessarily Christian) to reveal him/her/itself and to log our thoughts, feelins and experience. So that's what I'm doing.

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  4. Hi there,
    I came across your blog and have really enjoyed reading your thoughts over the past few days. Thanks for sharing them!
    I am a Christian and particularly found your experience of the tongues etc interesting. Not something I have seen. I would agree with you that it is not likely to be something from God if it is just something you can summon up whenever. I've always thought it should have a use (e.g. translating language like at Pentecost).
    Sounds like you've had a really tough time with the kidneys. I hope things are looking up a bit now.
    Enjoy your talk with God tomorrow!
    Best wishes, Viv

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    1. Thanks Viv! The kidney's doing very well, though the immunosuppressant medication makes me very tired and prone to infection, which can be frustrating.

      I hope all's well with you.

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  5. Have you looked into Quakerism or contemplative Christianity?

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    1. Hi Fishcake,

      I've only just come back to my blog after a break, and now read all your messages. Thanks for all the feedback. Sorry to hear you've got a chronic illness too, but yay solidarity of the long-term ill! *airpunch* I hope your illness doesn't cause you too much grief on a day-to-day basis.

      I'm drawn to Buddhism, albeit without the supernatural aspects.

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  6. I have an Anglican friend who has found a happy place with the Buddhists. He calls them his foster family. A place to heal. I've found the same with Quakerism :)

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