Ladies and gentlemen - feeling bloated with Christmas lard? Want to squeeze back into those jeans that were comfortable as recently as December 3rd? Behold - I have invented the perfect fat loss contraption!
THE COLANDER CORSET.
Take one corset. Cut smallish holes in it. Don corset and pull tight until fat bulges out of the holes. Trim off fat with a pair of scissors. Et voila! A slimmer you; a more desirable you!
[May also involve blood loss. Mcgingersnap Industries accepts no liability for scarring or semi-fatal injuries arising from the use of its advice.]
